


Linger

by denimandflowers



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Angst, M/M, Mpreg
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-09-28
Updated: 2018-10-02
Packaged: 2019-07-18 17:11:31
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 12,379
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16123052
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/denimandflowers/pseuds/denimandflowers
Summary: Baekhyun hasn’t seen his husband in years. So what’s holding him back from letting go?





	1. Characters

Byun Baekhyun:

  * 25 years old
  * Is a single father
  * Chanyeol’s childhood friend, estranged husband
  * Manager at a family-based restaurant in his small hometown in Busan



Park Chanyeol:

  * 25 years old One of Korea’s top idols
  * Has been in the industry for 5 years
  * Popular for his ballads
  * In a relationship with top actress Bae Joo Hyun (Irene)



Byun Kyungsoo:

  * Baekhyun’s five-year-old
  * Quiet but can be mischievous, is intelligent
  * Has chronic asthma and bronchitis, is always in and out of hospital
  * Doted on by everyone in his family



Byun Minseok:

  * Baekhyun’s older brother (by 2 years)
  * Most rational out of all 3 Byun brothers
  * Very protective of his younger brothers, especially Baekhyun
  * Has been the sole breadwinner and pillar of the Byun family ever since their parents’ death
  * Married to Kim Jongdae
  * Works at the local market as a fishmonger



Kim (Byun) Jongdae:

  * Married to Minseok
  * Was close to Chanyeol but is now closer to Baekhyun after Chanyeol found fame
  * Helps out at his husband’s stall, sometimes babysits Kyungsoo for Baekhyun



Byun Sehun:

  * Baekhyun’s younger brother (by 2 years) but overprotective of his Baekhyun hyung
  * Often calls Baekhyun his "baby brother"
  * Has an everlasting grudge against Chanyeol
  * Hot headed, stubborn, brash
  * Has a soft heart



Kim Jongin:

  * Chanyeol’s secretary
  * Knows of Chanyeol’s past
  * Has tried courting Baekhyun




	2. One

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Baekhyun hasn’t seen his husband in years. So what’s holding him back from letting go?

_Past_

**Busan**

 

“You’re really doing it? You’re really leaving…?”

“You can’t expect me to stay. This is my ticket out of this fucking town!”

“But I’m your _husband_!”

“To be honest, you’re only holding me back.”

 

\--

  
_Present_

**Busan**

 

“I still don’t think it’s a good idea.” He looked up to see Minseok leaning back against his dresser, arms crossed and a deep frown on his face. He sighed, turning his attention back to his duffel bag.

“I don’t really have much of a choice.” Baekhyun zipped up his bag and pushed up to his feet, meeting his older brother’s eyes. He was looking at him with sympathy, the same look he always gives Baekhyun when he was worried.

“You know, I could spare you some; business has been good. And Sehun could help out, even Jongin would loan you some with no questions asked –”

“Hyung,” Baekhyun cut him off, reaching out for his hand. “You’re starting a family. You’ll need it more, trust me. Sehun’s saving for his backpacking trip to Europe, and as much as Jongin’s like family, I really don’t want to bother him for this.”

Minseok looked like he was about to say more but he held it in when Baekhyun squeezed his hand, flashing him a small reassuring smile. “It’s okay, Minseok hyung. It’s about time I faced it head on.”

“…If you say so,” Minseok relented with a sigh. “Just promise me you won’t let him have the upper hand. I mean it.”

Baekhyun laughed, shaking his head. A part of him knew his promise would be broken; he has never been good at dealing with his past. Despite so, he promised, “I won’t.”

 

\--

 

_Present_

**Seoul**

 

With a hand in his hair, she moaned against his lips, enjoying the feel of his hands all over her. He smirked as he watched her fall apart with lidded eyes. Just as he slipped a hand under her silk blouse, the door swung open and fellow label mate Minho walked in with a hand in his trousers, a lazy grin on his face.

They broke apart, lips swollen, but she stayed seated in his lap.

“I’m guessing she said yes?” Minho’s smile widened as he looked expectantly at his friend.

“Why wouldn’t I?” Irene held her hand out, her red lips pulled back into a pretty smile. The ring glistened magnificently.

“Congrats, man!” Minho cheered as Chanyeol smiled bashfully. Nevertheless, he was proud that he could finally call his girlfriend his _fiancé_.

“This will be all over the tabloids by morning tomorrow.” Minho walked towards them, clasping his friend on his shoulder as Irene moved to her feet.

“I’m guessing it’ll be right there with ‘Park Chanyeol wins daesang for the fourth time in a row’.”

Chanyeol laughed, a proud smile on his face as Irene leaned in to give him a kiss on his cheek. “You bet it will.”

 

\--

 

Baekhyun stepped out of the train, moving along with the crowd as his eyes flitted everywhere, making sense of the signs and finding his bearings. People were less friendly in Seoul, pushing and shoving to get to their destination. Baekhyun clutched his duffel bag closer into his side as he shuffled towards the taxi bay.

As soon as he got into an available taxi, he rattled off the address he’d managed to get a hold of after much searching, only to be met with a frown through the rear-view mirror.

“Are you sure that’s the right address?” the taxi driver, a man in his fifties, asked doubtfully.

“Uhm, yeah,” Baekhyun replied, suddenly feeling self-conscious.

“Only the wealthy live in that neighbourhood,” the taxi driver said conversationally. Nevertheless, he pulled away from the train station and onto the highway.

“I hope you’re having a wonderful evening! This next song is sure to warm your insides on this cold, winter night. It’s a song from the nation’s heartthrob. Here’s Park Chanyeol’s Miracles in December.”

Baekhyun froze, tensing at the mention of his name.

“Ah, this song really is heart warming,” the taxi driver said with a fond smile as the voice of his past filled the taxi, “No wonder he’s called the nation’s heartthrob. He sings with so much emotion. He deserves the love he gets from the nation.”

“I stop time, and go back to you.”

Swallowing the lump in his throat, he bit his lips. “He does,” he whispered, fists clenched at his sides.

 

\--

 

_Past_

**Busan**

 

“I love you.”

Baekhyun giggled, grabbing a fistful of the man’s shirt to pull him in for a small kiss. “I love you too,” he whispered against his lips.

Chanyeol grinned dopily as Baekhyun pulled away slightly, keeping him close. “I’ve never been as happy as I am now.”

“You’d better!” Baekhyun teased with a laugh. “My husband,” he said fondly, reaching up to cup Chanyeol’s cheek. Chanyeol leaned into the touch with a small, contented sigh.

They turned their attention to the side where Sehun was clinking his flute of champagne with a dessert spoon.

“Alright, lovebirds, I’m going to steal the attention away from you just for a quick sec.” Baekhyun narrowed his eyes at his younger brother but there was a tender look in his eyes.

“I’ve known Chanyeol since he made Baekhyun cry in first grade when he wouldn’t let him sit on the swings during recess.”

“You weren’t even old enough to talk,” Baekhyun muttered under his breath, rolling his eyes. Chanyeol laughed softly, rubbing his husband’s arm soothingly.

“I’m not gonna lie, I’ve hated Chanyeol for a long time. But I can’t disagree that he’s made my baby brother the happiest he’s ever been. Especially after we lost our parents. He was there for Baekhyun through everything. Chanyeol can be an asshole sometimes but he’s totally whipped for my baby brother. That unwavering love he has for Baekhyun is what keeps me from wanting to strangle the shit out of him. To Chanyeol, you better take good care of Baekhyun. If you so much as to make him shed a single tear, I’ll hunt you down and teach you a lesson myself.”

Chanyeol looked utterly terrified at the threat that Baekhyun had to lean in and kiss his cheek to comfort him. “He’s younger than you, babe,” he whispered with a small laugh.

“Lastly, congrats lovebirds! Please make me an uncle soon! Juseyo!”

 

\--

 

_Present_

**Seoul**

 

“Your schedule’s pretty packed tomorrow. The news of your engagement is out and the phone’s been ringing off the hook for the past few hours. You’re expected to make an official statement, following which you’ll be on all three major broadcasting channels for interviews. Remember, use this to promote your latest single – Chanyeol. Are you listening to me?”

All he got in response were the aggressive sounds of the buttons on the game controller. He looked over to see Chanyeol engaged in a furious game.

“Park Chanyeol,” Jongin sighed.

“Yeah, yeah, I got it,” Chanyeol replied, annoyed as he let out a frustrated sound when his character in the game died. The bright “GAME OVER” neon sign flashed on the screen. Right at that moment, the doorbell rang.

“Were you expecting someone?” Chanyeol raised an eyebrow at his manager.

Jongin looked guilty as he shook his head. “No, but you are.”

Chanyeol held his gaze, suspicion arising as he got off the sofa and made his way towards the door.

“Uhm, hi.”

Chanyeol froze as he stared at the man before him, weariness etched into the stranger’s forehead, droopy eyes plagued with exhaustion. His eyes ran over the man’s appearance, taking in the hunch in broad shoulders, dark hair falling into eyes.

“What are you doing here?” Chanyeol straightened his posture, the initial shock wearing off as quickly as it had come.

“We need to talk,” Baekhyun said with resolution despite the tiredness in his eyes. Chanyeol watched, for a moment, the mole above thin, pursed lips.

He said nothing as he left the door open and walked back inside. Baekhyun trailed after him, eyes cautiously taking in the luxurious setting. He felt small; out of place. Like he didn’t belong. A stain in Chanyeol’s impeccable life.

“I’ll be here at 6 tomorrow,” Jongin said as he gathered his things to give them some privacy.

“What do you need?” He turned his back for a second to light up a cigarette.

“I need your help,” Baekhyun’s voice was timid as he glanced at his feet. It had been years since they last met. The Baekhyun before him was a far cry from the bright, talkative boy he grew up with. The Baekhyun in front of him looked like he was afraid of him.

“Money?” Chanyeol asked with a slight scoff, blowing out smoke. Baekhyun winced at the hostility in his tone, grimacing as the smoke hit him in the face.

“I—yeah. I need some money.” Baekhyun tightened his hold on the strap of his old duffel bag. “Please.”

Chanyeol let out a laugh. A loud, derisive sound that Baekhyun had never heard.

“You? Begging for money? Never thought I’d see this day.” Chanyeol’s lips pulled up into a malicious grin. “But then again I can’t say I’m surprised. Byun Baekhyun, you’ve always been selfish.”

“You fought hard to keep my happiness to yourself. And now you’re trying to take away my money, too.” He felt satisfied seeing Baekhyun’s fists clenched at his sides as he quietly trembled in anger.

“You know what,” Chanyeol continued after a pause. There was a condescending smile playing on his lips as he took one last drag of his cig before putting it out on the expensive marbled ashtray on the coffee table. “I have a request.”

Baekhyun’s head snapped up, eyes bright with hope. “What is it?”

“I want you to beg for it,” Chanyeol smirked, folding his arms as he leaned against the counter behind him. “If my memory serves me right, I remember how good you used to be at begging.”

Baekhyun’s face flushed red with a mixture of anger and embarrassment. Chanyeol expected a slap to the face, screams of anger, or for him to storm out in disbelief. Instead, he watched in shock when the duffel bag dropped to the ground with a dull thud as Baekhyun sunk to his knees with his head bowed.

“Please. I need the money.”

Chanyeol regarded him for a moment. With the anger and irritation that was clouding his mind gone, Chanyeol could finally see the state Baekhyun was in. He looked sickly, his cheeks hollow and gaunt. The bags under his eyes seemed to weigh down on him. He was still pale as moonlight, but there was no longer a glow to his cheeks.

“Do you really need the money?” The words had left his mouth before he could stop them. Despite the knot in his stomach at the sight of how frail Baekhyun looked, he sounded mocking. Sardonic, even. “I know you can do much better than that pathetic excuse of an attempt.”

“Chanyeol, please. I need the money. I’m begging you, with all I have,” Baekhyun’s voice grew urgent, his shoulders shaking visibly. “I’ll pay you back in interest. Just – I really need the money.”

“That wasn’t so hard, was it?” Chanyeol grinned mockingly as he stared down at him with a cold look in his eyes. “Never pegged you to be a whore, Byun Baekhyun.”

He ignored the quiet sniffle as he turned his back on him. “I’ll grab the cheque book.”

 

\--

 

_“Thirty thousand dollars isn’t a small amount of money. What, were you conned into paying off lover boy’s debt?”_

_“It’s none of your business.”_

_“It’s my money, of course it is. So? You’ve got a new boy toy, is that it?”_

_“If you really want to know, yes. I need the money to save someone. I can’t live without him.”_

_“I always thought you were easy.”_

 

 

Baekhyun sat on the curb, knees pulled to his chest as angry, frustrated tears quietly made its way down his cheeks. He tried his best to hold in his tears back at the apartment but as soon as he made it out he couldn’t hold it in any longer. He felt humiliated, disgusting. His phone rang in his pocket as he reached up to wipe his tears. He tried his best to keep his voice steady before answering the call, forcing a smile.

“Hey.”

_“You didn’t call me. Didn’t I say to give me a call when you got to Seoul? I’ve been worried sick wondering if you’ve made it alright to the city!”_

“I’m sorry,” Baekhyun said, staring down at his shoes, “I was just busy trying to find my way around.”

 _“Oh. Right. Forgot you were terrible in foreign places.”_ Baekhyun laughed. _“So, how’s everything going? Have you done it?”_

Baekhyun closed his eyes briefly, swallowing back tears. “Yeah,” he said, applauding himself for keeping his emotions in check.

_“And? Did he give you any trouble?”_

“No,” he lied through his teeth. “I managed to get the money from him, that’s what matters. Everything going alright there?” He changed the topic, tired of thinking about the encounter.

 _“Everything’s good here. You just concentrate on coming back home safe,”_ Minseok said. “ _Besides, Sehun found out about your little escapade. You’re lucky I managed to convince him to keep his ass in Busan. That idiot almost took the next train to Seoul to chase after you.”_

Baekhyun chuckled, shaking his head at the thought of Minseok trying to keep their younger brother in check. “And Kyungsoo?”

 _“He misses you lots,”_ Minseok said, voice quiet but fond. _“He says he’s excited that his curfew is half an hour later, but I know he can’t wait for you to get home.”_

Baekhyun’s eyes welled up at the thought of his son missing him. This was the first time he’s been away from his five-year-old and it hadn’t been easy. The moment he’d left home there was an inexplicable ache in his heart.

“I can’t wait to be back. Kiss him for me, will you?”

 

\--

 

_Past_

**Busan**

 

“I’m going to miss you.”

Chanyeol chuckled as he tossed a few clothes into his open suitcase. Baekhyun grabbed them, folding them before arranging them neatly.

“I’ll only be gone for a week.” He sidled up beside his sulking husband, arms slithering around tapered waist as he kissed the side of Baekhyun’s head. “You know I can’t miss this audition, right? It’s SM! It’s a big deal.”

“We’ve never been apart for more than a few days,” Baekhyun countered, his pout deepening. Chanyeol slowly pushed him down into the mattress, his body heavy on Baekhyun’s. He held Baekhyun’s face in his hands and captured his lips in a slow, sweet kiss.

“Should we make the most of the time we have tonight, then?” Chanyeol whispered, voice low and heavy with arousal.

Baekhyun moaned as Chanyeol sucked at his neck, grinding down heavily into him. “Let’s,” he whispered.

 

\--

 

_Present_

**Seoul**

 

Baekhyun stared at the news on the screen, frozen in disbelief as he watched his husband make an official statement.

“The wedding will most likely be held in the summer. It’s Irene’s favourite season and we’ll be taking a short break to plan it. Please give us your blessings.”

A _wedding_. Baekhyun’s heart trembled at the revelation. He couldn’t hear what else was being said over the loud sound of his heart beating. His phone vibrated from an incoming call. He stared at the name, still in shock. It rang continuously, and when it looked like he wasn’t going to give up, Baekhyun took a deep breath and connected the call with shaking hands.

_“I’m assuming you’ve heard the news. As you know, I would be needing the divorce papers from you.”_

“We agreed we would only stay separated,” Baekhyun said calmly, watching as his hand continued to shake.

_“Well, I changed my mind. What’s the difference, anyway? We haven’t been together for years.”_

“I understand,” Baekhyun choked out. “But I need some time to think about it.”

_“Are you fucking serious right now?”_

“I said I’ll think about it,” Baekhyun said, firmer this time. There was an exasperated sigh on the other end of the line.

_“Fine. Whatever. But if I don’t get an answer in a week I’ll personally come to you for the papers.”_

 

\--

 

_Past_

**Busan**

 

“Hey!”

Baekhyun startled, the tray he was holding almost slipping out of his hands. He turned to glare at the intruder, only to be met with the most handsome face, the smile he loves grinning at him so fondly.

“You almost gave me a heart attack, you little shit,” Baekhyun cried, though there was no real bite to his words.

Chanyeol’s arms slid around his waist, holding him possessively.

“I love you,” he whispered seriously, gazing into his boyfriend’s eyes. Baekhyun blushed, remembering their conversation from the night before. It was the first time he’d uttered those three words. He had been a nervous wreck but Chanyeol had replied so effortlessly that Baekhyun’s heart started to calm.

“I know,” Baekhyun grinned teasingly.

“Say it,” Chanyeol urged, squeezing his side.

“You already know I do,” Baekhyun said softly, placing his tray on the table to grip onto taut arms.

“I want to hear it again,” Chanyeol whined childishly.

“I love you,” Baekhyun murmured just as Chanyeol leaned in to kiss him softly on the lips. “You know I always will.”

 


	3. Two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Warning: Mention of miscarriage (just a tiny, tiny bit)
> 
> Quite satisfied with how this turned out!!

 

_Present_

**Seoul**

“How have you been?”

 

Baekhyun continued to stare down at his coffee as he stirred it, shoulders shrugging in response.

 

“I’ve had better days,” he replied with a wry smile. He looked up to see Jongin gazing at him with something akin to sympathy. It was nice to have Jongin as company after not having seen him for almost a year.

 

“How’s Kyungsoo?” Jongin wondered, leaning forward on the table.

 

Baekhyun glanced down at the table once more, the thought of his sickly son crossing his mind. He managed a small smile when his mind conjured the image of his son’s bright smile.

 

“He’s doing much better. Doctor says he just needs to stay a few more days for observation, but he’s definitely showing signs of improvement.”

 

“I’m glad to hear that,” Jongin breathed out a sigh of relief.

 

“How long has he been dating her?” Baekhyun asked suddenly. It didn’t take much to know what he was referring to.

 

“Almost a year, now,” Jongin said, watching Baekhyun’s reaction. He gave nothing away of his emotions, eyes blank as he nodded.

 

“What should I do?” Baekhyun wondered aloud. He wasn’t expecting an answer, and Jongin didn’t have one either.

 

“Maybe you should tell him,” Jongin suggested anyway.

 

“I should,” Baekhyun sighed. “But will he hate me if I did?”

 

\--

_Past_

**Busan**

 

“And what if we have a baby? What would happen, then?”

 

“This really isn’t the time to start a family, Baekhyun. You know that.”

 

He tried to shrug off the hurt that came with how exasperated and annoyed Chanyeol sounded. Was it so wrong to want something of his own?

 

“Of course I do,” Baekhyun said with a slight frown. “I’m just saying, I need to know your plans. We’re married, aren’t we? Whatever decisions there are to be made, we have to make them _together_.”

 

“Well you know my plans since we were kids. You know it’s always been my dream to make music. Can’t you just be happy for me?”

 

“I am,” Baekhyun said softly, wrapping his arms tightly around his husband’s shoulders. “I’m very proud of you.”

 

\--

_Present_

**Busan**

“He’s _what_?!”

 

Baekhyun hugged the pillow close to his chest, sighing as he repeated, “He’s getting married. He’s asked me to sign the divorce papers.”

 

“That son of a _bitch_ ,” Sehun muttered murderously. “And? What are you waiting for? Sign the damn papers and move on!”

 

“It’s not that simple,” Baekhyun worried his lip. He tried to ignore the look of exasperation Sehun threw at him.

 

“What do you mean it’s _not simple_?” Sehun mocked. “He’s made it clear that he’s moved on! Why are you still waiting around for him to come back after five years of _nothing_?!”

 

“Sehun, calm down,” Minseok interjected, shooting him a look. Baekhyun pressed the palms of his hands into his eyes, feeling an oncoming headache.

 

“I’m over him, alright?” Baekhyun said even if it didn’t sound very convincing. “I just. I can’t have this turning into a mess.”

 

“It won’t,” Minseok said reassuringly. “If you sign them, it’ll finally give you some closure.”

 

“Will it?”

 

“He’s been absent from your lives for _five years_. A divorce would just make things official.”

 

\--

_Present_

**Seoul**

“Should I take a trip to Busan?”

 

Jongin froze, his hands paused at where they’d been sorting out some documents.

 

His heart raced at the implication but he kept his voice steady as he said, “What do you mean? You haven’t been back in years. Why the sudden urge to visit?”

 

“My past came back to pay me a visit. Shouldn’t I return the favour?” Chanyeol said with a smirk, twirling the glass of whiskey in his hand.

 

Jongin rolled his eyes. “You have no business being there,” he said as a matter-of-factly.

 

“Well, I’ve got to claim the divorce papers from my beloved estranged husband. It’s been a little over a week and I haven’t heard anything.”

 

“I’m sure he’s almost done. Have a little more patience.”

 

“No,” Chanyeol said resolutely, hands already working on bringing up the website to book KTX tickets for the weekend. “I think I want to repay the favour and drop by for a surprise visit.”

 

Chanyeol startled when Jongin held his arm, looking down at him seriously. “Leave him alone, Chanyeol. I mean it.”

 

“Why? What is he so afraid of that he even has my manager trying to buy him more time?” Chanyeol’s smirk only grew, a cold look in his eyes. “It can’t be that he’s still hung up over me, can it?”

 

“You don’t know the half of it,” Jongin said quietly. “Just, please don’t give him any trouble, alright?”

 

“If he refuses to give it up, I can’t promise anything.”

 

\--

 

_Present_

**Busan**

 

Baekhyun walked out of the hospital, a basket of fruits in one hand, his other hand gripped tightly onto his son’s own.

 

“Are you excited to get home?” Baekhyun asked with a smile.

 

“Yes!” Kyungsoo replied with more enthusiasm than Baekhyun had seen in the past few weeks. He was much better than he had been but Baekhyun wasn’t taking any chances.

 

“You can have ice cream when you get home but only one scoop, okay? You don’t want to spend more time in the hospital, do you?”

 

“No, daddy,” Kyungsoo shook his head solemnly, shuddering slightly. “Staying in bed all day is no fun.”

 

“I’m sure the nurses kept you entertained, though,” Baekhyun said warmly, tugging him closer into his side. “But daddy’s happy to have you back home as well.”

 

\--

 

Baekhyun stared at the papers before him, sighing for the hundredth time. He ran a hand down his tired face, glancing around the empty restaurant. The last of his employees had left almost an hour ago and he knew he should get home to his son, but the closed restaurant was the only place he could have a bit of peace to think things through.

 

Would it be fair to Kyungsoo if he were to sign them? It wouldn’t even make much of a difference considering Chanyeol didn’t know of his existence. But a part of him wished he could just _tell_ him. His heart ached knowing Kyungsoo often wondered why he was the only one with one parent instead of two. He’d cried himself to sleep knowing Kyungsoo craved for a father’s love.

 

His phone vibrated from an incoming call and he picked it up with a weary sigh. “Yes?”

 

 _“Baekhyun,”_ Minseok said gravely. _“I think you should get home. Right now.”_

“What’s wrong?” Baekhyun asked, panicked as he gathered his things and hurried for the door. “Is it Kyungsoo? Is he okay? What happened?”

 

_“Kyungsoo’s fine. It’s— you have a visitor…”_

\--

 

Baekhyun bit hard on his lip, arms folded tight across his chest as he sat slumped on the sofa. Across him, Chanyeol was staring at him with a deep frown, betrayal bright in his eyes.

 

“Were you ever going to tell me?” It’s the first thing he’s said since Baekhyun hurried through the doors. Minseok was standing a few feet away, eyes glancing nervously between them both. Sehun looked like he was ready to lunge at Chanyeol, the only thing keeping him from doing so was Kyungsoo gripping tightly onto the ends of his sweater.

 

“Sehun,” Baekhyun said wearily, “Could you read Kyungsoo’s bedtime story?”

 

Sehun relaxed his stance, gripping onto his nephew’s hand. Baekhyun got up slowly, kneeling before Kyungsoo and pulling him into a tight hug.

 

“Uncle Sehun’s going to read your bedtime story for tonight, alright?” He kissed him on the forehead before releasing him.

 

“Okay daddy,” Kyungsoo said sweetly, rubbing at his tired eyes as Sehun led him away, sending one last glare at the unwanted guest.

 

“Baekhyun – ”

 

“Minseok hyung,” Baekhyun said quietly, heading towards the door, “I’ll be at the park.”

 

He glanced towards his estranged husband, “Let’s talk.”

 

\--

 

“Why are you here?” Baekhyun kicked the dirt beneath his shoes, swinging lightly, eyes staring at his shoes.

 

“Is he—is he _mine_?” There was so much confusion in his tone. Baekhyun felt sorry.

 

“What does it matter?” Baekhyun said instead.

 

“What does it _matter_?” Chanyeol’s loud voice echoed in the empty park as he paced across the dirt. Baekhyun winced, refusing to look up. “Of course it _fucking_ matters! Fuck! _If he’s_ —if he’s my _son…_ ”

 

“You should have fucking told me,” Chanyeol shook his head, muttering angrily.

 

“Would you have changed your mind?”

 

“What?”

 

Baekhyun breathed in deeply, finally looking up from his shoes. “Would you have stayed if I had told you about him?”

 

Chanyeol’s hesitation didn’t go unnoticed by Baekhyun who knew he shouldn’t have expected anything else. “Of course I would have stayed,” he murmured, anger dissipating with the slump of shoulders. In its place came the overwhelming disappointment and sorrow. “He’s my _son_.”

 

“And then what?” Baekhyun bit back bitterly. “You would have stayed but you wouldn’t have achieved your dream. We would have tied you down to this place, this stupid, _useless_ town that you’d worked so hard to leave. You would have resented us.” _Resented me._ “I couldn’t let that happen. You could hate me all you want but I couldn’t make you hate your own son.”

 

Chanyeol shook his head in disbelief. “So you thought it was your right to make a decision? Where’s my say in this?”

 

“I’m sorry,” Baekhyun said sincerely. He was just so tired, thinking about all the what ifs. “I know you deserved to know, and I made a mistake by keeping him from you. But you made your choice when you left.”

 

“You made it loud and clear you wanted nothing to do with me anymore.” Baekhyun jumped off the swing, dusting his jeans as he slowly trudged towards home.

 

“His name’s Kyungsoo,” Baekhyun said quietly, “He’s not my boy toy. He’s my son.” He didn’t spare a glance back as he went on his way.

 

\--

 

He lied on his back with a hand under his neck, sleepless as he stared up at the ceiling. It had been hours since he found out about his son. A five-year-old. Five years he could never get back. His heart ached knowing he lived all those years not knowing he had a son. He’d missed his birth, his first words, first steps. The thought continued to haunt him.

 

He was sad, disappointed. More than anything he was angry. How could Baekhyun hide it from him for this long?

 

Grunting in frustration, he grabbed his phone from his bedside table.

 

_“Chanyeol?”_

“Did you know?”

 

 _“Know what?”_ Jongin sounded confused on the other end of the line but Chanyeol had a feeling he knew.

 

“About Baekhyun. That he had my son. _Kyungsoo_.”

 

The silence was answer enough for him. Chanyeol’s hands trembled in anger. “Set an appointment with my lawyer for tomorrow. I want full custody of my son.”

 

“ _Chanyeol—_ ”

 

He ended the call despite Jongin’s repeated pleas. With an aggravated cry, he threw the phone across the room at a wall and watched as it broke into pieces.

 

\--

 

_Present_

**Busan**

“You couldn’t get through to him?” Baekhyun asked sadly, massaging the bridge of his nose as he leaned against the counter of the cashier. Sehun glared at him, broom in hand, his duty of sweeping the restaurant floors long forgotten.

 

_“I’m sorry, Baekhyun. He wouldn’t answer my calls or reply my messages.”_

“It’s fine, Jongin. I’ll handle it from here. Thanks again.”

 

_“Anytime. I wish there was more I could do to help.”_

As soon as the call ended, Baekhyun buried his face in his hands, eyes watering. Sehun was there in an instant, pulling him into a fierce embrace.

 

“I’m going to kill him,” he muttered angrily. “I swear I’m gonna fucking kill him.”

 

Baekhyun shook his head as he wept, burrowing himself further into Sehun’s chest. “Was it my fault? Should I have told him when I first knew?”

 

“Of course not! He made it fucking clear he wanted nothing to do with you. That includes Kyungsoo. _You_ raised him! All on your own! That asshole has no right to take that away from you!”

 

“Then why does it feel like he’s punishing me for it? I just did what I thought was best for myself and my son.”

 

“Daddy!” Baekhyun quickly pulled away from his brother, wiping at his eyes and smiling brightly as he welcomed his son with a hug.

 

Jongdae trailed behind with a smile but shot him a look when he noticed the trail of tears on his cheeks.

 

“Did you have fun at school today?”

 

“Mrs. Kim said my drawing was good!” Baekhyun took the portrait from Kyungsoo’s hands, grinning as he admired the work. They were all stick figures but he could tell who were in it. There was him holding hands with Kyungsoo, there was Minseok and Jongdae sitting on the front porch. And there was Sehun standing taller than the rest. Baekhyun swallowed back another wave of tears.

 

Kyungsoo’s life was here, with him. Chanyeol had no right to barge in and take that away from him.

 

“We had to draw our family so I drew you and I, and then there’s Uncle Minseokkie and Dae-Dae. And look! Uncle Sehun!” Kyungsoo giggled happily, beaming proudly at his work.

 

“Kyungsoo,” Baekhyun began, kneeling in front of his son as he held his hands and looked into his eyes. “You’re happy here with daddy, right?”

 

“Yes!” Kyungsoo grinned. For a brief moment Baekhyun saw the image of Chanyeol in his son. There was no denying that Chanyeol will forever be a part of him. But could he trust that Chanyeol wouldn’t hurt Kyungsoo the way he had hurt him? Chanyeol could hurt him a hundred times over but he would do anything to protect his son.

 

Gathering what little courage he had in his heart, Baekhyun took a deep breath as he said, “Do you remember that time you asked me if you had an appa?”

 

\--

 

_Past_

**Busan**

“You did well,” Minseok murmured. He brushed the hair out of his eyes and planted a kiss on his sweaty forehead.

 

“Thanks,” Baekhyun breathed, eyes glistening with tears as he glanced around expectantly. “Can I see him yet?”

 

Minseok shook his head sadly. “They need to keep him under observation. You can see him once you’re better, okay?”

 

Tears spilled over as Baekhyun gripped his brother’s arm. The wounds from the surgery were still raw but what hurt more was the fact that he couldn’t hold his baby in his arms. 

 

“What’s wrong with him?”

 

\--

 

_Present_

**Busan**

 

“Can I come in?”

 

Chanyeol gave him a hard stare, regarding him for a long second before he stepped aside to let him in.

 

“If you’re here to change my mind about fighting for full custody of _my_ son then you’re only wasting your time.” He crossed his arms as he waited for a response.

 

Baekhyun held his gaze as he shook his head. “You don’t understand.”

 

“What’s there to understand?” Chanyeol scoffed. “You hid the fact that I had a son from me for five years. I didn’t even know of his existence till a few days ago. Is that fair to _me_?”

 

“I’ll do anything you ask,” Baekhyun pleaded softly, eyes desperate. “I’ll pay you back with interest. I won’t tell anyone about the divorce, nobody will know you were ever married, or you had a son. Just. _Please_. Don’t take Kyungsoo away from me.”

 

“See,” Chanyeol began in a condescending tone. “You have the opportunity to beg for the rights to your son right now. I _never_ got the chance. What makes you think I would give up on it just because you said ‘ _please’_?”

 

“I tried to tell you.” Tears began to spill over as they trailed down his cheeks. He glanced at the carpet, wiping at his tears as the memory came crashing in waves. “The day you left, I pleaded for you to stay.”

 

\--

_Past_

**Busan**

 

“Chanyeol please don’t leave. Please. I’m _begging_ you.”

 

“This isn’t working out, Baekhyun. Whatever you say, it won’t change my mind. I’ve worked too hard for this, and it feels like you’re not on my side anymore.”

 

_Whatever you say, it won’t change my mind._

Baekhyun held a hand over his stomach, watching as Chanyeol packed his clothes, grabbing almost everything from their shared closet. He watched, feeling nauseous and helpless, as his husband walked out of his life.

 

“I’m sorry, Baekhyun. I really am. But you’re making me choose, and… I just. I can’t.”

 

\--

 

_Present_

**Busan**

Chanyeol felt like his world had been pushed off its axis at the revelation. He gaped at Baekhyun, feeling faint as he took a staggering step forward.

 

“Why didn’t you just _tell me_?” He whispered brokenly. “I-I was an asshole. I don’t even remember half the things I said to you. All I know is that I felt like you were tying me down to this place and I felt _suffocated_.”

 

“I couldn’t do that to you,” Baekhyun said quietly. He wasn’t even trying to stop his tears anymore. They flowed, silent and relentless. “You’re stubborn when you set your mind to something. And I guess I couldn’t love enough for the both of us.”

 

Chanyeol stepped forward, reaching out uncertainly for him with a hand. Baekhyun closed his eyes as it caressed his face, warm and calloused.

 

“I never really stopped loving you,” Chanyeol revealed. The confession hung heavy in the air, and Baekhyun wondered for a moment if he had been the one to utter those words. After all, he felt the same way.

 

When he opened his eyes, Chanyeol was inches from his face, searching his eyes for permission.

 

“Why can’t you be selfish for once in your life, Byun Baekhyun? Why do you always let me break every promise? Why do you say it’s okay when it’s not?” Chanyeol murmured, moving in closer.

 

“I just want you to be happy.” It was a simple statement but Baekhyun’s known all his life that it’s what he would always want for Chanyeol.

 

Chanyeol’s lips were on his own in the next second, as soft and plump as he’d remembered. His lips moved against Chanyeol’s like second skin, his body reacting in a way that it’s always remembered Chanyeol.

 

When they pulled away, Chanyeol’s hands were heavy on his waist, his own gripping the idol’s jawline. They were both panting as they gazed into each other’s eyes; years of pent up frustration poured into a single kiss.

 

“We can’t go back to the way things were,” Baekhyun shook his head, gently prying himself out of those arms.

 

“I’m sorry I pushed you away,” Chanyeol whispered, letting his arms fall limp at his sides.

 

“I didn’t come here to take advantage of you, or to guilt-trip you into giving up your rights as a father,” Baekhyun said, glancing at his estranged husband. Chanyeol looked so defeated all he wanted was to pull him into a hug.

 

“I understand that you want to be in Kyungsoo’s life but all I ask for is that you don’t take him away from me. He’s all I have, Chanyeol.”

 

\--

 

_Past_

**Busan**

“It’s hard to tell but it would be a miracle if he pulls through the night. All we can do now is leave it to fate. We’ll know when morning comes.”

 

“I understand. Thank you.”

 

“Baekhyun,” Minseok held his hand, squeezing it gently. His voice shook with emotions, but he managed to keep it steady to stay strong for his brother. “We’re here if you need anything.”

 

Baekhyun nodded numbly, pushing his way through everyone else to get into the children’s ward. He was shrouded by a sense of serenity as soon as his eyes fell upon his son, sleeping peacefully despite being hooked to numerous machines.

 

He slid onto the chair beside the bed and leaned into the crib, hands enveloping tiny, soft ones.

 

“You can’t leave me,” he murmured. “You can’t.”

 

\--

 

_Present_

**Seoul**

“And what’s the price you can quote me for now?” Baekhyun bit at his finger. “Ah, that’s the lowest you can go? I see… Uhm, I’ll give you a call once I’ve decided. Thank you.”

 

Baekhyun ran a hand through his hair as he stared at the countless number of crosses on the paper laid out in front of him.

 

“Daddy!” Kyungsoo traipsed into the kitchen with a bucket almost as big as him in his arms. “We caught many fish today!”

 

Baekhyun quickly relieved him of the bucket and set it beside the sink.

 

“Thanks, Soo ah. We can have seafood for dinner tonight.” He patted his son’s butt. “Go on, wash your hands and go get changed.”

 

“I know someone whose friend’s a pro bono divorce lawyer. I could give her a call?” Sehun cocked an eyebrow as he caught the disarray of papers on the kitchen table. “From what I’ve heard, she’s pretty good.”

 

Baekhyun’s lips turned down at the corners as he leaned against the counter. “I don’t know. I just feel like I can never win against him no matter how hard I try. I mean, he’s got the money for it. He could easily get full custody without much of a fight.”

 

“Do you need me to talk some sense into him?” Sehun offered. Baekhyun gave a wry smile, shaking his head.

 

“I might end up having to engage a lawyer that specializes in manslaughter instead.”

 

Sehun gasped, scandalized. “You think I’m capable of it?”

 

“When it comes to Park Chanyeol I’m sure you’re very much capable,” Baekhyun quipped.

 

“Can’t disagree,” Sehun nodded as a matter-of-factly.

 

Sehun frowned at the floor, deep in thought. He glanced back up after a moment. “I have some savings. It’s not much, but if Minseok hyung and I pool our resources—”

 

“No,” Baekhyun said firmly.

 

“But—”

 

“But nothing. I’ll figure something out. Don’t worry about it, alright?”

 

Sehun sighed, shaking his head in defeat. “How can I not worry? I’ve seen what his departure did to you. I don’t want to see it happen again. Not when I can help it.”

 

\--

 

_Present_

**Seoul**

“Chanyeol, it’s not looking so good right now.” Jongin paced the room, fingers working quick over the hundreds of messages that had been bombarding his phone since the wee hours of the morning.

 

The idol lit up a cigarette as he held his phone in a hand, eyes skimming over different articles, all reporting the same thing.

 

Jongin paused when he smelled the smoke, looking up for a brief second. “You know you can’t— _never mind_.”

 

“They didn’t get his face,” Chanyeol commented, trying to stay positive. Besides, in most of the badly taken pictures, his own identity remained ambiguous.

 

“And for how long would it stay that way?” Jongin questioned, shaking his phone in front of the idol’s face. “They’re going to find out eventually.”

 

“They’ll find out anyway once I win full custody.”

 

Jongin bit his lip to suppress his disappointment. “Are you really going through with it? I’m asking you as a friend. As _Baekhyun’s_ friend.”

 

“I mean,” Jongin continued in a rational voice, “I know you’re upset he kept it from you. But don’t you think that’s going too far?”

 

Chanyeol took another drag of his cig before putting it out, massaging his nose as he closed his eyes. “Honestly, I only did it because I was sure Baekhyun wouldn’t let me anywhere near him.”

 

“Can you blame him?” Jongin scoffed. “I know you were both hurt. Your marriage hasn’t been the best. But Kyungsoo… he was conceived out of love. If the circumstances were different maybe things would have turned out better.”

 

Chanyeol sat hunched over on the sofa, contemplating his manager’s words. Jongin moved to sit across him.

 

“I still love him, Jongin,” Chanyeol confessed, head falling into his hands. It should feel liberating. Instead it just felt like the words were weighing down on his chest.

 

“Do you remember your vows on your wedding day?” Jongin said suddenly.

 

_“I promise to make you happy and never make you cry.”_

It was a simple promise, but it was one he couldn’t keep.

 

“You’ve broken it a hundred times over,” Jongin said, making him feel even more terrible than he already was feeling. “He has always put your happiness before his own. If there’s one thing you can do for him, it’s to make sure he never loses Kyungsoo. That’s the only thing you’ve left him with, Chanyeol. Don’t take that away from him, too.”

 

\--

 

_Present_

**Busan**

“Uncle Sehun said a bad word when he was fixing my scooter,” Kyungsoo said conversationally, sipping at his orange juice.

 

“Really?” Baekhyun frowned, their arms swinging lightly between them.

 

“Mm-hmm,” Kyungsoo licked his lips. Baekhyun paused in his steps to wipe the corner of his mouth with the sleeves of his sweater, an affectionate look in his eyes. His lips were plump, unlike his own which were thin. Baekhyun could only guess where he’d got it from.

 

“Your uncle Sehun’s a bad influence,” Baekhyun tutted as he pulled them along the sidewalk.

 

“But he’s fun.” Kyungsoo grinned.

 

“I bet he is,” Baekhyun sighed before muttering under his breath, “He’ll probably be the one to teach you how to hot wire a car when you’re 18.”

 

“Look, daddy! There’s that ahjusshi that came last week!”

 

Baekhyun glanced at the direction his son was pointing at, a knot forming in his stomach. He gathered his son into his arms, carrying him the rest of the way with wary steps.

 

“Hey.”

 

Baekhyun gripped his son close to him, as if afraid he might be taken away from him.

 

“What are you doing here?” Baekhyun wondered quietly. “If Sehun sees you here I can’t guarantee he won’t punch in the face this time.”

 

Chanyeol laughed but it sounded bitter. “I think I’d have deserved it.”

 

Baekhyun waited patiently, watching as Chanyeol struggled to find his words.

 

“Listen, I’ve decided not to go through with it.”

 

“What?”

 

“Uhm,” Chanyeol glanced at Kyungsoo who was staring at him with wide, curious eyes. He was overcome by a strange feeling as he stared into them. It reminded him a lot of himself when he was a young boy.

 

“Hi.” Chanyeol gave a little wave. Kyungsoo stared at him for a second before burrowing his face into Baekhyun’s chest.

 

“He’s just shy,” Baekhyun said with a small smile, running his hand through his son’s hair. “Come on, Kyungsoo. This ahjusshi’s a friend of daddy’s. Can you say hi?”

 

Kyungsoo seemed reluctant but after a bit of coaxing, he gave Chanyeol the tiniest wave.

 

“You can call him Uncle Chanyeol, okay?” He was disappointed at being called an uncle instead, but he figured they should take things slow.

 

Baekhyun struggled to reach into his pocket for his house keys.

 

“Can I?” Chanyeol offered uncertainly as he watched his estranged husband grapple with the keys. Baekhyun stared at the outstretched hand oddly. Chanyeol sighed, wondering if he’d screwed up so bad that Baekhyun wouldn’t even trust him with something as simple as keys anymore.

 

“Okay,” Baekhyun said after a long contemplation, handing over the keys. Chanyeol took them graciously, unlocking the doors.

 

“Can we talk about this after I’ve settled Kyungsoo?”

 

“Yeah, sure.” Chanyeol stood awkwardly in the middle of the room, unsure of what he should do as he watched Baekhyun head towards the bedrooms.

 

“You can come help me out,” Baekhyun called over his shoulder. “I mean, only if you want to.”

 

\--

 

Chanyeol watched intently as Baekhyun dried Kyungsoo’s hair, smiling softly when Kyungsoo giggled continuously as Baekhyun sneaked in a few tickles to his tummy.

 

“Can I have a biscuit?”

 

“No, baby.”

 

“After dinner?” Kyungsoo negotiated. Chanyeol chuckled at the pout he pulled. He could only imagine how hard Baekhyun tried to become immune to it.

 

Baekhyun shook his head as he firmly said, “ _No_. You managed to convince Uncle Sehun to get you some orange juice earlier. That’s enough sweet things for today.”

 

Kyungsoo pouted as a grumbled, “Okaayyy.”

 

“Chanyeol, could you hand me the powder, please?”  Chanyeol scrambled to do as he was told.

 

Baekhyun stared at the bottle in his hand in amusement. “This is insect repellent.”

 

“Oh,” Chanyeol reached out for it in embarrassment, handing the only other bottle over instead.

 

“There. You’re all set.” Baekhyun leaned in to kiss him on the cheek, ignoring Kyungsoo’s groans of disapproval.

 

“You can have half an hour of tv time before dinner.” Baekhyun held Kyungsoo by the shoulder as he steered him towards the sofa. With Kyungsoo settled, Baekhyun began picking up the toys that littered the house.

 

Chanyeol trailed behind, quietly helping out.

 

“You’re good with him,” Chanyeol murmured fondly.

 

“Thanks,” Baekhyun replied with a small smile.

 

Chanyeol cleared his throat. “I’ve decided I won’t pursue custody.” Baekhyun glanced up briefly before focusing his attention on tidying the place.

 

“All I’m asking is that you let me be a part of his life.” Baekhyun froze.

 

“I know I’ve hurt you. But I want to make things right. Starting with my son. _Our_ son.” Baekhyun dumped the toys in his arms into the basket and turned around to face the idol. He stared at the rilakumma in the idol’s hands, lips curling into a small smile.

 

“Jongin bought that for Kyungsoo when he turned one.” Baekhyun reached out for it but paused when it seemed like Chanyeol refused to let it go.

 

“Jongin knew about him.” It wasn’t a question, more of a statement of disbelief.

 

“Yes,” Baekhyun said sadly. He had a lot of regrets. “Jongin was the first to know about him.”

 

“I—” he sighed. “I almost had a miscarriage,” he whispered, feeling as if he’d divulged a dirty little secret. “I almost lost the baby and it wasn’t even unintentional.”

 

“I didn’t care for it when you left. I thought it would have been better if I didn’t keep anything that would remind me of you.” His grip on the bear tightened.

 

“But Jongin talked me out of it.” Baekhyun swallowed thickly, his gaze meeting the idol’s. “Kyungsoo wouldn’t even be here if it weren’t for him. You wouldn’t have a son.”

 

Chanyeol nodded numbly. It was a lot to process.

 

“I want to be there for Kyungsoo,” Chanyeol inhaled sharply, a lump forming quickly in his throat. Baekhyun bit his lips in contemplation, staring at his socked feet with arms defensive across his chest.

 

“I can’t risk Kyungsoo getting hurt.”

 

“I understand.” Chanyeol took a step closer. “But I’ve missed too much of his life. I want to be present for everything else.”

 

“How do I know you won’t break your promises like you always do?” Chanyeol winced at the challenge.

 

“I won’t,” he said almost pleadingly.

 

“Okay,” Baekhyun said, resigned. “Okay,” he repeated. Maybe it could work. “But if you hurt him it’s over.”

 

Chanyeol smiled, feeling like he could finally breathe.

 

“Chanyeol, I—thank you. Really. You don’t know how relieved I am.” Baekhyun murmured as they made their way back to Kyungsoo.

 

Chanyeol shrugged nonchalantly despite the warm feeling spreading through him. “I thought it’s best. It’s the least I could do after I—I treated you like shit. I know there’s nothing I could ever do to make up for the past five years but I hope this is a start.”

 

Baekhyun nodded slowly, joining Kyungsoo on the sofa. He motioned for Chanyeol to do the same. Overcoming his uncertainty, Chanyeol took Kyungsoo’s other side. He watched as Baekhyun and Kyungsoo laughed, feeling like he’d finally done something right for once in his life.

 

\--

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is setting the basis for Chanyeol's and Baekhyun's characters + their past.  
> The following chapters will start to introduce the other characters and how they affect the main characters!  
> Thanks to everyone who has left kudos! <3


	4. Three

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoy this :))))

_Past_

**Busan**

 

“Baekhyun, you’re bleeding!”

 

“I’m fine!” Baekhyun snapped, slapping Jongin’s hands away.

 

“You’re –” Jongin choked. “You’re going to lose the baby if you don’t get to a hospital _right now_.”

 

Baekhyun glared at the man hovering above him, furious at the concern in his eyes. The pain was intensifying, growing with each passing second, but he refused to move.

 

“It doesn’t _matter_ ,” Baekhyun whispered angrily as he glanced away, hands shaking.

 

“Hey— _Hey_! Put me down!” He cried as he was being lifted off the ground. Jongin’s hold on him was firm and he was unable to break free no matter how hard he punched and thrashed in the man’s hold. Eventually he slumped against Jongin’s chest in defeat, completely drained as he sobbed in anger and frustration.

 

“I don’t want you making a decision out of anger,” Jongin said softly. “I promise you, you’ll regret it if you lose him.”

 

\--

_Present_

**Busan**

 

“It’s too cold to be outside.”

 

“Aw, come on, Baek. You’ve kept Kyungsoo locked up inside for too long. He could use the fresh air.”

 

“I don’t know,” Baekhyun said, shaking his head as adjusted the scarf around his neck.

 

“Look, Kyungsoo’s gone on a road trip with his uncles when he was four.” Sehun persuaded, “I’ll have him home in time for dinner.”

 

“Fine,” Baekhyun sighed in defeat. “Just be careful, alright?”

 

“Kyungsoo’s a good kid. He’s very well-behaved.”

 

“He’s not the one I’m worried about,” Baekhyun raised an eyebrow at his brother, arms crossed. “I’m talking about his man-child of an uncle.”

 

Sehun rolled his eyes.

 

“Kyungsoo ya,” Sehun called excitedly as the five-year-old shuffled into the room. “Go get changed. I’m bringing you to the funfair!”

 

“Really?” Kyungsoo stared at him, eyes wide in disbelief.

 

“Yeah, come on! Your daddy says you can go.”

 

Kyungsoo glanced at Baekhyun as if asking for permission. Baekhyun patted his head with a smile. “Go on. You deserve it for being so brave during your stay in the hospital.”

 

“Thank you daddy!” Kyungsoo squealed, breaking out into a wide grin as he wrapped his arms around Baekhyun’s legs.

 

“Just make sure you dress him warmly, and bring along some snacks, he gets faint very easily,” Baekhyun rambled, “Oh! Don’t forget his inhaler, you _need_ to have it with you. Don’t let him out of your sight for even _one_ second—”

 

“ _Hyung_ ,” Sehun interjected, steering him towards the door. “I’ve got this, okay? We’re going to have fun and stay _very_ safe. In fact, I’ll even ask for a safety belt when we go on the carousel. I promise I won’t let anything happen to your baby, okay? Now, you just focus on getting your ass to work.”

 

Kyungsoo gasped, pointing at Sehun. “He said a bad word.”

 

“A dollar in the swear jar, Sehun,” Baekhyun smirked, patting Sehun’s cheek as he groaned. He turned to give his son a big wet kiss on his forehead.

 

“Have fun, darling. I’ll see you at dinner.”

 

\--

_Present_

**Seoul**

 

“It feels like I haven’t seen you in forever,” Irene sighed as she sank into the sofa, watching as her fiancé worked on the controls of his soundboard.

 

“You know I don’t like being disturbed while I’m working,” Chanyeol muttered without looking up, grabbing his bottle of beer to take a swig. Irene sighed again, this time loud and infuriating just to spite him.

 

“Stop it,” he warned, not in the mood to argue.

 

“Look,” Irene snapped. She stood up, her heels clinking against the floors. “You think I don’t know what you’ve been up to these past few weeks?”

 

Chanyeol froze, tensing as his hands paused above the controls.

 

“I’ve seen the tabloids. And I’ve had more people telling me it’s true than it’s not.” She moved towards him, gently touching his shoulder.

 

“I don’t care what’s going on,” she said softly. “I just need to know if you’re serious about us. Because if you’re not I don’t want to be wasting my time, Chanyeol.”

 

Chanyeol let out a breath, reaching out to caress her hand. “I’m sorry,” he said, looking into her eyes. “I’m sorry I haven’t been completely honest with you.”

 

“It’s fine.” Irene allowed herself to be pulled into his lap, holding his face in her hands as she leaned in to kiss him.

 

“I know you’ve got stuff to deal with. I just want us to start our lives on a clean slate.” She pulled away and gazed into his eyes. “Do you really love me?”

 

Chanyeol glanced away for a moment, thinking back to that night she’d texted him with the greatest news in his life. He wrapped his arms possessively around her waist, pulling her even closer.

 

“Yes, I do.”

 

\--

 

_Present_

**Busan**

 

Unknown

I was wondering if Kyungsoo could spend the weekend with me in Seoul?

3.52pm

 

Unknown

It’s Chanyeol by the way.

3.54pm

 

Baekhyun bit his nails, deleting the ‘ _No_ ’ he’d typed out. He toyed with the idea in his head, wondering if it were really a good idea. Chanyeol knew nothing about Kyungsoo apart from the fact that he was his son. Baekhyun couldn’t risk leaving Kyungsoo in his care. But he knew Chanyeol was trying. He was making an effort, at the very least, and that was more than he could ask for after five years of raising Kyungsoo on his own.

 

“Tell him to get lost, how about it?”

 

Baekhyun startled, almost dropping the phone out of his hands. He turned around to see Minseok staring over his shoulder, a look of disapproval on his face.

 

“Continue pretending we don’t exist like he has for the past five years of his life.”

 

“I expected that from Sehun, not you,” Baekhyun said with a frown.

 

“Can you really blame me?” Minseok scoffed, moving to pour himself a glass of water. “You don’t understand, Baekhyun. You’ve never seen yourself through my eyes. Through Sehun’s eyes.”

 

Baekhyun tenses. “What do you mean?”

 

Minseok sighed. “Look, I don’t want to bring up the past but you know how difficult it’s been since he left you.”

 

“I don’t need you to remind me,” Baekhyun snapped, glancing back down at his phone.

 

“Exactly. And do you think it was easy on us to see you the way you were?” Minseok sat himself across from him. “You gave that man _everything_ you had. He lived his best life when he left while you struggled to make ends meet, raising a child all on your own.”

 

“All I’m saying is that you shouldn’t get your hopes up. He abandoned you once, he could do it again. And I don’t want to have to piece you back together again,” Minseok said with clenched fists. “I can’t bear to see you fall apart for a second time.”

 

Baekhyun nodded, swallowing thickly. “I understand.”

 

“But I can’t help feeling like he’s still the Chanyeol I fell in love with, hyung,” Baekhyun said sadly. “I see him for the first time in five years and I feel like we’re nineteen again and he’s telling me that there’s nothing he wouldn’t do to make me happy.”

 

“You’re not teenagers anymore, Baek ah,” Minseok said softly. “You lead different lives now. You share plenty of sweet memories with him but don’t let that cloud your judgement. Think what’s best for Kyungsoo. For once, look after your own heart, Byun Baekhyun.”

 

\--

 

_Past_

**Busan**

“I love you.”

 

“I know.” Baekhyun rolled his eyes with a smile, swinging their intertwined hands between them.

 

“I’m going to marry you someday,” Chanyeol said seriously.

 

“We’re too young for that.” Baekhyun blushed.

 

Chanyeol ignored him, pulling him in closer. “I swear, I’m going to make you very happy.”

 

“You already do, silly.”

 

\--

 

_Present_

**Busan**

Baekhyun gripped onto his son’s hand, glancing around nervously as they stood by the sidewalk beside the train station. Everyone was going about their lives, minding their own business, but Baekhyun couldn’t help feeling like people might start recognizing who they were.

 

A black sedan pulled up in front of them and the driver got out, approaching them.

 

“Byun Baekhyun, this way please.” Hesitantly, Baekhyun followed the man, helping Kyungsoo into the car by the open door before entering himself.

 

“Hey.” Baekhyun breathed out a sigh of relief at the familiar face. Beside him, Kyungsoo fell asleep as soon as the car started to move, tired from the train ride.

 

“You didn’t have to pick us up. We could have gotten a taxi.”

 

“We’re being extra cautious,” Jongin explained. “The news hasn’t really died down yet and it’s best if Chanyeol and Kyungsoo are able to spend time together without paparazzi up in their noses at every second of the day.”

 

“Yeah,” Baekhyun agreed. “All I ask is that Kyungsoo is kept out of the spotlight. I don’t want to overwhelm him.”

 

“I understand,” Jongin said with a smile. “I’ll do my best to make sure your privacy is kept.”

 

“Thank you, Jongin,” Baekhyun smiled warmly.

 

“So, you got here alright?”

 

“Yeah,” Baekhyun chuckled as he recalled Kyungsoo’s fascinated gaze at the scenery during the train ride. “Kyungsoo wouldn’t tear his eyes away from the windows. It’s his first time to the city.”

 

“I figured.” Jongin laughed. They let the silence settle for a long moment, listening to the purr of the engine and the soft sounds of Kyungsoo’s snoring.

 

“Listen, Baekhyun,” Jongin began, nervously fiddling with his hands. Baekhyun already knew what he was going to say. He gave a small, encouraging smile.

 

“I was wondering, since you’re here anyway, if you’d like to grab dinner sometime?”

 

“A dinner’s usually an indication of a date,” Baekhyun teased with a grin.

 

“I’d like for it to be a date,” Jongin said shyly, ducking his head slightly. “I mean, only if you’re up for it.”

 

Baekhyun toyed with Kyungsoo’s hands in his lap. “You know,” he began, “I’m still sorry for saying no a year ago.”

 

“It’s fine, really,” Jongin shook his head.

 

“I wasn’t in a good place then. But I think I’m ready now.”

 

Jongin let out a small breathless laugh. “Thursday alright with you?”

 

“Chanyeol’s bringing Kyungsoo to the zoo. I should be free then,” Baekhyun smiled.

 

“Great,” Jongin grinned. “I can’t wait.”

 

\--

 

Chanyeol rearranged the flowers once more, knowing he’d done it just minutes before but feeling like it didn’t look quite right. He glanced around as his hands busied with the flowers, making sure there wasn’t anything dangerous so Kyungsoo could play without getting hurt.

 

The doorbell rang, and he froze for a second before hurrying to answer it.

 

“Hey,” he greeted, breathless from excitement and nerves. Baekhyun gave an uncertain smile, peering into the apartment with mixed feelings. The last time he’d been there, it hadn’t been a great memory. That was almost two months ago, he told himself. A lot had changed since then.

 

“Hello Kyungsoo,” Chanyeol grinned, bending slightly so he could at least look into the boy’s eyes. Kyungsoo shied away, clinging onto Baekhyun’s arm.

 

“Kyungsoo,” Baekhyun said sternly, “You’re being rude.” He shoved his son slightly. “Greet him properly.”

 

Kyungsoo pouted but did as he was told. Chanyeol tried not to let his disappointment show as he smiled.

 

“You know what?” Chanyeol suddenly said. “I’ve got something I think you might like.”

 

“What is it?” Kyungsoo stared at him with his big, round eyes, interest piqued.

 

“Do you know how to play video games? I’ve got a game room. You can play it on the big tv.”

 

Kyungsoo’s eyes lit up as he tugged at Baekhyun’s hand excitedly, looking up at him. “Can I, daddy? Please? Please?”

 

Baekhyun suppressed a sigh. Chanyeol’s got a lot to learn but he figured he’d let this one slide. “Yes,” he said reluctantly. “But you have to promise to listen to Uncle Chanyeol well.”

 

“I promise!” Kyungsoo nodded vigorously.

 

Baekhyun smiled. “Go on, then.”

 

Jongin trailed after the boy, offering to keep an eye on Kyungsoo while the parents talked.

 

“Thanks again, Baekhyun ah,” Chanyeol said earnestly.

 

Baekhyun shrugged. “I’m really hoping we can make this work.”

 

Chanyeol nodded, rubbing his hands nervously as he watched Baekhyun glance around the apartment.

 

“Right,” Chanyeol said, suddenly remembering the incident almost two months ago. “I’m sorry about what happened. You know, that night you… yeah.”

 

Baekhyun shrugged again, hugging himself slightly. “It’s fine. I understand it must have been a lot to take in.”

 

“Right.” Chanyeol licked his lips. “I’m still sorry.”

 

Baekhyun smiled softly before his eyes fell upon the bouquet of lilies. They were his favourite. Chanyeol used to buy them for him all the time.

 

Following his line of sight, Chanyeol noticed what he was looking at. Before he knew it, he was striding towards it, grabbing the vase and thrusting them into Baekhyun’s hands.

 

“You can have them,” Chanyeol said softly.

 

“Wow,” Baekhyun said, staring at it in amusement, “Uhm, this is really nice.”

 

“But I don’t really have anywhere to put them,” Baekhyun laughed, his eyes turning into crescents. Chanyeol’s heart skipped a beat, memories of a younger them playing in his head, happy and carefree.

 

Chanyeol took his phone out, snapping a quick picture of Baekhyun laughing with a bouquet of lilies in his hands.

 

“Did you just take a picture?” Baekhyun asked, confused.

 

“Uhm, yeah.” Chanyeol scratched his head sheepishly. “I thought you looked nice. I’m starting a scrapbook for Kyungsoo to see when he’s a little older.”

 

Baekhyun’s heart warmed at the thought. His eyes turned soft as his lips pulled up into a fond smile. “That’s nice. I’m sure he’d like it.”

 

“Yeah,” Chanyeol said, glancing at the ground for moment before lifting his gaze to meet Baekhyun’s searching eyes. “I just. I want him to remember his childhood as a happy time in his life despite how broken his parents were.”

 

\--

 

Chanyeol glanced at the five-year-old every few seconds, feeling nervous as he prepared lunch in restless silence. Kyungsoo was sat upright at the kitchen island, arms neatly folded on the counter before him. His big, round eyes followed Chanyeol’s every movement, as if silently judging him.

 

“Do you like sandwiches?” Chanyeol asked conversationally, hoping to get a word out of the boy. Kyungsoo stared at him, hard and long. Chanyeol repressed a sigh, wondering if he would ever get a reply out of him.

 

“I’m making an egg sandwich.” Chanyeol turned his back on the boy as he prepared the meal.

 

“I like your ears.”

 

Chanyeol froze, hand paused in mid-air where he was holding the bread. He turned around to see Kyungsoo looking at him shyly.

 

“My ears?” Chanyeol repeated, breaking out into a smile.

 

Kyungsoo nodded, ducking his head. Chanyeol’s grinned excitedly when he saw the small smile on his son’s face.

 

“They’re not that big, are they?” Chanyeol touched an ear. Kyungsoo looked up, regarding it with a thoughtful expression.

 

“They are,” he said as a matter-of-factly.

 

“Oh…” Chanyeol didn’t know whether to laugh to be offended. But he figured he should take it in his stride, considering it was Kyungsoo’s first attempt at trying to talk to him. Kyungsoo was superbly shy, but it seemed like he was beginning to feel comfortable around him.

 

“They’re nice,” Kyungsoo offered. His words warmed Chanyeol’s heart.

 

“They’re like an elf’s.”

 

Chanyeol chuckled. He would take what he could get. “Thank you, Kyungsoo.”

 

\--

 

 _“You can’t be serious?”_ Baekhyun could hear the anger in his voice even through the phone. _“You can’t leave him alone with that jerk!”_

 

Baekhyun rolled his eyes, annoyed. “I’m not asking for your permission.”

 

 _“Look, I’m just looking out for my nephew, alright? I don’t trust he can take care of a child.”_ Minseok said, _“He could barely take care of you when he’d vowed to do so for the rest of his life.”_

“That hurt,” Baekhyun admitted quietly, eyes closing briefly from the blow.

 

_“I know it does. But I’m just being rational, alright? Don’t take your chances when it comes to him.”_

“I understand.”

 

_“Anyway, when will you be back?”_

 

“Why? Life falling apart without me around?” Baekhyun teased.

 

 _“Jongdae’s a terrible stand-in manager,”_ Minseok complained. _“He let a kid eat for free because “she was cute”.”_

 

“Bless his kind soul,” Baekhyun laughed. “As long as he doesn’t give any more free food to cute kids.”

 

 _“He’s a fool for kids,”_ Minseok sighed. “ _Thinks they’re the cutest things to ever exist.”_

 

“I was like that too when I was pregnant with Kyungsoo,” Baekhyun reminded him with a reminiscent smile. “Pregnancy makes us sentimental.”

 

_“You were terrible to be around when you were pregnant. You were always either crying or getting angry over the stupidest things.”_

Baekhyun pulled a face. “Was not.”

 

 _“Trust me, you were,”_ Minseok laughed. There was a pause before he said, _“Kyungsoo’s old enough now. Isn’t it time for you to find someone new?”_

Baekhyun smiled shyly, playing with a loose thread on his sweater. “Jongin asked me out again.”

_“I think he’s good for you.”_

“I think so too.”

 

\--

 

_Past_

**Busan**

 

“Minseok hyung.” Chanyeol startled when he saw the oldest Byun brother approaching him. He graciously accepted the bottle of beer with both hands, automatically slouching his posture to match the older man. Minseok was distinctively smaller than he was but he carried himself with such revered charisma. Chanyeol had always admired him for it.

 

They drank in silence, enjoying the night breeze as they looked out into the nothingness over the sea.

 

“Congratulations on your engagement,” Minseok broke the silence, turning to look at his future brother-in-law.

 

Chanyeol was taken aback; everyone knew how Minseok disliked Chanyeol. He’d never approved of their relationship, claiming that Baekhyun was “too good” for him. Chanyeol didn’t disagree though. Baekhyun was the kindest, brightest soul he’d ever met in his life.

 

“Thank you,” he said earnestly. “I promise to take care of him well.”

 

“For my brother’s sake, I really hope you keep your promises,” Minseok said.

 

“I mean it, Chanyeol. He loves you with all he has. Don’t you _ever_ take that for granted.”

 

\--

 

_Present_

**Seoul**

 

Baekhyun walked out of the room after ending the call with Minseok to find his son eating a bowl of greens.

 

“How’d you get him to eat that?” Baekhyun gaped at Kyungsoo who took one last bite, leaving the bowl spotless.

 

“I promised to teach him how to play the guitar,” Chanyeol said sheepishly.

 

Baekhyun sighed, moving to take the bowl and bringing it to the sink to wash it.

 

“I can do it,” Chanyeol said, quickly reaching for it, “You’re a guest in my house.”

 

“It’s fine,” Baekhyun replied as he washed the bowl. “I do this for a living,” he reminded.

 

Chanyeol bit his lip, slightly embarrassed. “Right.”

 

“You shouldn’t keep making promises to him,” Baekhyun began as he left the washed bowl on the drying rack. “If you break any of them I can’t promise he won’t hate you.”

 

Chanyeol adamantly shook his head. “He’s going to come first before anything else.”

 

“Will he?” Baekhyun gazed into Chanyeol’s eyes. It was clear he wasn’t talking about their son anymore.

 

“I don’t want to screw this up,” Chanyeol finally said. “I did once, I’ll make sure it doesn’t happen again.”

 

“I trust you,” Baekhyun said quietly, a soft look in his eyes. “I trust you wouldn’t let anything happen to our son.”

 

Chanyeol grinned weakly. “Of course.”

 

\--

 

_Past_

**Busan**

 

“Hey, don’t be upset.” Chanyeol gently wrapped his arms around Baekhyun’s waist from behind him and kissed him softly on the side of his head. Baekhyun’s eyes stayed glued to the negative pregnancy test result, sadness slowly overcoming him.

 

“I was _so_ sure I was,” Baekhyun whispered sadly.

 

“It’s normal that it doesn’t happen right away,” Chanyeol said encouragingly. “Besides, we’re still young. Let’s enjoy _us_ before we start a family, hmm?”

 

Baekhyun turned around slightly in his husband’s hold to look up into his eyes, lips wobbly with disappointment. “But you were so excited when I told you I might be.”

 

“I was,” Chanyeol admitted. “But if it happens, then that’s great. But if it doesn’t, it won’t make me love you any less.”

 

Baekhyun turned around and wrapped his arms around Chanyeol, burying his face into his chest as a tear makes its way down his cheek. “You always know what to say to make me feel better,” he murmured.

 

“When we do have our own kids, you’ll be absolutely great with them,” Baekhyun said softly. “I’m sure.”

 

\--

 

_Present_

**Seoul**

 

_Haemophilia: What is it?_

_Caring for a Child with Haemophilia_

_Living with Asthma_

 

Baekhyun watched Chanyeol’s brows pull into a frown as he stared at the pamphlets strewn across the coffee table. He could sympathize when Chanyeol ran a hand down his face with a groan. He’d been there at one point in his life.

 

“It’s a lot to take in,” Baekhyun said as he made his way towards the idol and sat himself beside him.

 

“It is,” Chanyeol shook his head as if it would clear the muddled thoughts in his head.

 

“I couldn’t accept it the first time the doctors told me.” Baekhyun stared at his hands. “But I was alone, and I knew Kyungsoo would need me more than anything.”

 

Chanyeol’s heart ached at the revelation. “I’m really sorry, Baekhyun. I’m sorry I left you to deal with all of this on your own.”

 

“I’m very much capable of taking care of him on my own,” Baekhyun shrugged. It only made Chanyeol feel worse.

 

“I know,” Chanyeol said, “You’re amazing, you really are.”

 

Baekhyun blushed at the compliment but it felt good to be acknowledged for his accomplishments.

 

“You can rely on me now too, you know.”

 

“I hope you understand that you have to be very careful with him,” Baekhyun said seriously. “It’s literally a matter of life or death.”

 

Chanyeol nodded. “Can you really handle being out with him alone?” Baekhyun asked, biting his lip nervously.

 

“You mean to the zoo?”

 

“Yeah.”

 

“I thought you were coming along?” Chanyeol asked, confused.

 

“Why would you think that?” Baekhyun frowned.

 

“I just thought – never mind.” Chanyeol shook his head, glancing away.

 

“What is it?” Baekhyun probed.

 

“No, I just thought we would spend the day together as a family.”

 

Baekhyun inhaled deeply. “We’re not a family, Chanyeol.”

 

Chanyeol didn’t think it would hurt to hear those words coming from Baekhyun. But it was the truth. Kyungsoo was the only link he had to Baekhyun now.

 

“I know,” Chanyeol admitted. “But could we at least pretend for Kyungsoo?” he asked, annoyed.

 

“You know,” Baekhyun said, suddenly furious, “It’s really unfair for you to suddenly waltz back into my life and demand that we become a family when it was all I had wanted for the last five years.”

 

“I didn’t want to admit it, but I thought you should know that I spent the last five years of my life just waiting for you to come back,” Baekhyun shook with anger.

 

“I think I have the right to be angry, too,” Chanyeol bit back, “You _pushed_ me away, you drove me to leave. And you expect me to know that you wanted me back?”

 

“You _know_ I did it so you could be happy,” Baekhyun said bitterly.

 

“You were wrong to assume I would be happy achieving my dreams at the expense of losing the love of my life.”

 

Baekhyun faltered at those words. Chanyeol was the love of his life, too, and it hurt when he walked out on them. “You never fought for us,” Baekhyun shot back.

 

“I did.” Chanyeol disagreed. “I told you to come with me but you just shot me down and shut me out. What was I supposed to do? You’re just as stubborn.”

 

Baekhyun shook his head, feeling the anger drain from him. “Let’s not fight over the past,” he said quietly. “We were both wrong.”

 

Chanyeol nodded his head sadly. “We were.”

 

“We may have a lot of regrets but nothing can change the fact that everything is different now.”

 

“Maybe it’s time we both moved on…” Chanyeol sighed.

 

“Maybe it is.”

 

\--

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Also, I think I forgot to warn everyone but there will be kaibaek in this :))))


End file.
